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We often think, talk or worry about this topic, but this does not necessarily mean that we reflect on it. This time it is about approaching these terms and recognizing the importance they have.
n our consultation we receive many comments about people who feel disconnected from their partner, their family, their environment in general, that even if they are in the middle of a meeting or at their workplace, they feel alone or separated. We also get comments about people who have been left alone at home (for whatever reason) and who feel that emptiness. Here the difference begins to be noticed.
We are unique beings, we are simple, different from others, even between twin brothers we perceive these differences, we are different, we are one . But we are also in others , we are social, family, sexual, political, etc. beings.
Sometimes life allows us solitude as a perfect moment to find ourselves, enjoy ourselves, get to know ourselves more, do what we like, sing in the shower, listen to music that makes us vibrate, read, watch a series of TV, cooking and eating what we like, walking around the house naked, playing, thinking, planning, praying, meditating, etc. Although much of what we have mentioned above can also be enjoyed in company, living with others makes these moments alone exceptional.
We hear stories every day from women whose children have left home and who have no idea what to cook because for years they cooked what other people liked, not them. That they stopped being themselves to be in others . So life brings loneliness, not as a problem, but as a reminder that there are things pending in our soul.
It is the time to go to the park, to enjoy the colors of the sky, to hear the music, to remember, to honor, to close cycles, to clean, to open to new experiences, to look in the mirror, to recognize oneself, to caress oneself. , laughing at our stories, sleeping, waking up, creating... Solitude in this positive sense is a moment of renewal.
On the contrary, desolation is when you are in a critical moment. Normally desolation is the warning that there are many debts with ourselves, guilt, fears.
That there has been an excess in being for others , so much so that our valuation of others is greater. We have made a mistake about something and we have not corrected it, we are in the wrong place, because it is not the place we want; open cycles of the past, intense feelings.
Desolation in this sense oppresses, represses and limits us. They are walls that we have created around us, which in the beginning were our defenses and now are our own prison.
The first thing we must do is recognize them, identify them. It is not about blaming ourselves, but about forgiving ourselves, nor about victimizing ourselves, but about strengthening ourselves.
When the desolation is deep, it will be important to accompany us with a guide, preferably a psychologist .
It is not advisable to take shortcuts, as if it were a question of forcibly opening holes in those walls. When you are in this situation, it is not about buying time, it is about healing wounds.
We live in times when we can't stand the pain, when we look for the quickest solutions, but the thing is that pain is the symptom that something is wrong. With this we do not mean that we must remain in pain, but rather go to the causes.
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional ."
Buddha
Pain is an alert, turning it off without going to the cause is keeping that cause growing inside us in silence, until there comes a time when it becomes uncontrollable.
When we talk about loneliness, we refer to moments in which we are alone, desolation is the feeling of loneliness, disconnection or isolation.
I await your comments on this topic.
Namaste
Espero tus comentarios sobre este tema.
Namasté
Adrián García | @adriangarcia_
